Written: February 15, 2013
Being in a pit of losing someone/breaking up is never easy. Whatever the reason is and whether you or the other party wanted or asked for it, being on the tail of a sunken relationship can twist your whole world upside down. It can sometimes generate varieties of painful and upsetting feelings.
Maybe some people are just not good in being detached with others who they learned to put their trust and invest their feelings into. Even the strongest person saddens when someone very close to them chose to depart or suddenly left them. And we can never mastered or expertise that composure whenever someone decided to put their lives away from us. But why? Why are humans so sentimental? So disturbed and overly aware of self-emotions. So unreasonable at times that we tend to be selfish; always thinking of our own selves and egos.
Let me list down some of the common reasons why most of us find it very/extremely hard to get back on their feet after a break-up;
1. Customary practice. They say humans are habitual individuals. When we do it twice or thrice, we tend to do it occassionally thus adopting it as a hobby. Being away from people who routinarily awakes us at morning, cooks for us during meals and kisses us goodnight before we sleep is truly an abyss situation to overcome.
2. Hopelessly hopeful. The adage "miracles happen everyday" and entertaining the idea that people can change in one click is a huge challenge and people involved find it amazingly challenging to test themselves on how far their patience can take them.
3. One of a kind. When we were deeply in love, we overlook faults. And so we settle for everything and anything that can make them stay, regardless of its hardness. And when they left us, we still are blinded by the lists of what makes them unique and wonderful in our shaded love.
4. Lost trust. When a friend betrayed us, it's not that easy to give our trust again, what more if that person is the one who we gave up everything for? It's the feeling of being betrayed a million times adding to the fact that our efforts were not reciprocated well.
5. Excessive change. In a budding relationship, it is just fair to adjust in a way that you will be both convenient and happy. Sometimes we change a lot for our partner that we tend to forget our own selves and what we truly were before. And so we cannot easily bring back that old "us" even after that partner strayed away from us. Everybody has gone through something or been with someone that has changed them in a way that they could never go back to the person they once were.
6. Irony of opposite emotions. There will be a moment in your moving on process, mostly on the first stage, when you keep on recalling everything that happened between the two of you. The adventures, the sacrifices, the fun and the compatibility that you have established during the tenure of your relationship. And how can you ever forget that famous "magic" moment when your eyes collide and your whole world just stopped spinning? It is always on the highest level of difficulty trying to forget your special someone who you've built a lot of memories with, not to be left behind but to be remembered. And just maybe the time for you to let go of the memories is not now.
Been there done that. I know all of us in one way or the other have survived a lot of letting go in every aspect of our lives. And the best that we can do is just provide time enough time to heal whatever element of you that has been wounded over the broken bond. Looking back at those memories are bitter sweet thoughts. And the bottom line of all of these is just one thing, a simple end-all reason of all reasons why we can't let go of that person is because despite the fact that thinking of them makes us sad, it is still the very thing that makes us happy.
